(Clearwisdom.net) Two months ago I had become very attached to fame and fortune. I was thinking of earning more money all the time, and thought that others would look down on me if I didn't. I totally banished studying the Fa, practicing the exercises, and sending forth righteous thoughts from my mind. I also showed not much concern for fellow practitioners, and became indifferent and numb towards saving sentient beings. I sometimes thought, "Dafa has existed for so many years in the world, and about one hundred million people practice Falun Gong. So many people know that Dafa is good. Why do some people not know? Some do not believe that Dafa is good even if they are told so. Let them do what they wish. If they die, that is their choice." I did not show any mercy and did not behave like a Dafa disciple at all.

I was also self-centered, both at home and away. I didn't want any harm to come to my fame, fortune, sentiment or to my self. When fellow practitioners suffered persecution, I protected myself even more. My selfish side was so obvious. I became a totally selfish person and behaved far from the standards of a practitioner.

And then I had a dream.

The dream was vividly clear. Many people were on a rugged mountain path on their way home. Everyone was excited. While walking, we were discussing something. After crossing another mountain, we would arrive home. But as we approached that mountain, we found that the path disappeared. The granite mountain had turned into a huge iceberg, icy cold, smooth and hard. I held my hand to the ice for a while, but not a bit of it would melt. In front of the iceberg, a smaller one blocked the path. The small iceberg was quite narrow so one could climb over it. One person jumped over the small iceberg and slid to the other side. He could now return home. It was then my turn. I climbed onto it, but I slid back down the same side. I tried several times with the same result. It seemed the iceberg had special power to prevent me from getting to the other side. All the people behind me were also kept to this side. It was getting dark. Witnessing so many people unable to return home, I was very concerned. Then I suddenly woke up.

I thought about the iceberg. Isn't it the image of selfishness? Selfishness blocked the way home. Teacher told us,

"In this universe all things, and this includes even all the matter that permeates the whole universe, they’re all living entities, they all have thinking, and they’re all forms that the Law of the universe exists in at different levels. If they don’t let you rise to a higher level, maybe you want to go higher, but you just can’t go up, they just won’t let you come up."

(Zhuan Falun, Translation Version 2003)

We could not cross over the iceberg. Could that mean that we did not meet the Fa's requirements at that level? Is the iceberg formed because of many people's selfishness? Teacher said,

“to attain the righteous Enlightenment of selflessness and altruism.”

("Non-Omission in Buddha-Nature" in Essential for Further Advancement).

We often talk about this, but how many actually achieve it?

These are merely some of my thoughts and enlightenment. I saw so many people that could not rise to the occasion, so I wrote this to serve as a warning to my fellow practitioners.

Please point out anything improper.