New York — Dongmei Li

My name is Dongmei Li. I obtained Falun Buddha Fa with great happiness on my trip to China in the summer of 1997. Since then my mind and body have been purified through continuous study of Falun Dafa and practicing the exercises over one year. I have changed from an ordinary person full of karma to a practitioner of Dafa cultivation. Together with tens of thousands of fellow cultivators, I am climbing the ladder of paradise towards my genuine home. The following is some of my personal experiences that I would like to share with all fellow cultivators.

1. Searching over the sea of bitterness, I was glad to find Dafa.

Sponsored by the Department of Health of P. R. of China, I came to study at Cornell University in the U.S. in 1987. I did not return because of the June 4^th movement in China. I stayed to continue my studies towards a degree. During the school years I often felt empty spiritually even though I did not encounter any financial difficulties or stress from my school work. I often wondered just for what reason one lived for? I also thought of the sufferings from birth, age, illnesses and death. Looking back at my own past, I had done all kinds of things in my life.

I summarized my short past in one word--bitterness. I wondered throughout my life where the road that led home was in the boundless sea of bitterness. This agony brought me to Buddhism, I became a devoted Buddhist.

At that time my cultivation of Buddha-hood was not for gaining prosperity or escaping from calamities. I had only one thought in my mind, which was to break away from the sufferings of samasra, and to become a solemn and holy enlightened being through cultivation.

Before visiting China in 1997 I talked to my third youngest sister over the phone. She told me: "The fourth youngest sister is practicing Falun Gong." At that moment when I heard the word "Falun" I felt that it was something unusual. So I asked her to pass a word to my fourth youngest sister that she should practice well so that she could teach me when I returned home.

I returned to my hometown Sanchahe of Jilin Province in Northeast China in July 1997. I saw my sister who was practicing cultivation. She came visit me form Daching. My sister stayed only for a few days before I urged her to go back to Daching because I wanted to go back with her so that I could read Master Li’s books and watch the videos.

In one early morning while the rest of the family was still in a deep sleep, my fourth youngest sister and I got up to catch the 5 a.m. train to Daching. Upon entering my sister’s home, we heard the phone ringing. At first it was the voice of my younger brother saying that all the relatives were there to see you, how could I flee? Right afterwards my eldest sister took over the phone. I was a little nervous because we always had excellent relationship, and it was rare for such a reunion to come by. She asked me in anger: "Is it true or not that you went there to learn Falun Gong?" I mumbled a little at first but I realized right away that self-cultivation was for self-gain. It would be better to put an end to her hope now. So I said: "That’s right, I’ve made up my mind to switch to cultivating Falun Buddha Fa."

Just like that, I picked up Zhuan Falun and read it with great eagerness. I almost forgot everything around me. After I finished reading Zhuan Falun Volume II, I said to my brother-in-law from the bottom of my heart: "Every single word is truly gold." Immediately I walked over and stood in front of Master Li’s picture swearing that I would practice all the way to the end till I completed cultivation. In my mind I persistently talked to myself: I had found it. I had found it at last. It was the path that could lead me home which I had been looking for.

2. Strengthening my faith and spreading Dafa at work

During the five days in Daching I read Zhuan Falun and Zhuan Falun Volume II. I watched all the videos of Master Li’s lectures and read Falun Dafa Explication as well as a few books of stories on cultivation. On the first day watching the videos, my heart suddenly began to beat irregularly at noon (I had irregular heart beating in the past), followed by body chill and a fever. These three symptoms came out at the same time. Despite the discomfort I felt at that time, my heart was filled with joy. It meant that Master Li had begun to look after me. Ten days later all the symptoms went away. My whole body became very light and my steps became feather-light as well. I thought that I was so fortunate to obtain Dafa in this life time. Such a chance does not come by in ten thousands years.

I wanted to have more people benefit from such great Dafa, therefore, I purchased law lecturing video tapes, exercise tapes and a few sets of books on Dafa from the practice site. Those items filled up my small leather suite case. I wanted to come back to the States to spread Dafa.

I am a high school teacher teaching history and English courses at an American public school. The students are Chinese immigrants from various countries, thus it is bilingual education. After I obtained Dafa, whenever I looked at the innocent faces of the children in the classroom and thought about the big dye vat of the materialistic society, I was pondering: Fa was so good, only if they could also obtain Him! With these thoughts, I began to introduce Falun Gong to the students. It was probably due to the predestinate relationships that the students showed great interest. Right after that, we held a nine-day seminar with the help from the assistant center. Forty-five students participated and all of them began their cultivation practice from that point on. After the completion of the nine-day seminar, they collectively experienced the reactions from eliminating karma. In the classroom, some were coughing, some had running nose and others were sneezing, one after another. Some had sore throat and could not talk. Some had flushed and burning hot faces from fever. However, all of them could heed the words of Master Li, and no one took any medications. Everyone knew that those were not illness, they were dissolving karma. On the one hand I encouraged them with Master’s words, on the other hand I let them to take turns to go out drinking some water. After karma dissolved, there followed by the Xinxing tests.

Since almost everyone in the class was a cultivator the students collectively encountered the same tribulations. I remember that once there was a school meeting in the big auditorium. After the meeting I waited for a long time but did not see a single student returning to the classroom. So I went to the auditorium to look for them. As I arrived at the entrance of the auditorium, I heard the loud voice of the dean in charge of school discipline. Obviously he was rebuking the students. I quietly walked in and stood at the side. I found that the dean was using bad languages as he was pointing his fingers at the students. The students were obviously very nervous. When they saw the expression on my face, they seemed to feel a lot more relaxed. Then I took them back to the classroom to find out what happened. It was caused by a paper-ball thrown at them by an American student. I encouraged them to carefully reflect upon today’s event. I said to them, "What happened today is not an accident. Since you all are cultivators, you should know how to deal with it." I asked them to think about how Master had taught us. Then they all said: "A practitioner should not return a blow when beaten, a word when cursed." A Xinxing test for the students was also a chance to advance myself. Although there was an age difference between the students and me, I often told them: "I am your teacher in the classroom, but we are fellow cultivators in cultivation practice."

Once a student dashed out right after she entered the classroom claiming that her chair was covered with used chewing gum. After I went in to take a look, I was also angry. I immediately headed for the principal. The assistant principal was also extremely angry upon seeing it. She felt strange that the whole surface of the chair was covered with chewed gum; usually there was only one piece. She was determined to investigate this incident until she found out exactly what had happened. As soon as she left, I was suddenly enlightened with something. Oh dear, how could I have forgotten that all students in our class were practitioners? So I gently closed the door and began a discussion with the students. Looking at me the students asked: "What should we do then?" I told them to think about how a cultivator should deal with it. Immediately after that all the students got up spontaneously and wiped the chair clean bit by bit with paper. Based on what happened I lectured everyone to always behave like a cultivator from then on no matter what happened. In fact as I was telling them this, I also reminded myself.

This kind of thing happened a few times later on, all the students could act like true cultivators and keep up with their Xinxing. Some of our students were beaten by several students from other classes. They did not return one single blow even after they were beaten to the ground. Afterwards, they picked up their school bags and simply walked away. One student had his eye pocked by another student while playing the ball game and had hyperaemia. The school would not permit him to go to the classes, insisting on him going to the hospital for a check-up. He was nervous so he came to me for an advice. I told him what Master said: "In our school of cultivation, the cultivation directly points to the heart of a person, as long as in your mind you do not think that is illness, you regard yourself as a cultivator, a visit to the hospital is only a formality."

It took more than 20 minutes walking from the school to the practice site. For over one year everyone was able to keep up with the weekly group study and practice no matter in what kind of weather--windy, rainy or snowy. It was quite odd for a period of time that whenever we had our group practice it was either very windy, raining or snowing heavily. Sometimes looking out and seeing feather like snowflakes and half a foot snow accumulation on the ground, I thought of postponing the practice to the next day. I pondered that since day-light was shorter in the winter it would be completely dark after the practice, and yet the students had to walk a long way home... But my second thought said: It was not right; cultivators should endure hardships. So I asked everyone: "Do you know why the weather turns so bad whenever we have our practice session?" To my surprise, the students had only one answer: "Yes we know. It’s a test that Master has set up for us." Sometimes when the students arrived at the practice site in rain, their clothes and school bags were soaked, and the rain drops were running down on their little faces. I was worried and asked them: "How is Master’s book?" They pulled out Zhuan Falun from the bosoms with a smile. All of these were great encouragement to our cultivation practice. I realized the importance of studying the Fa. In order for everyone to advance quickly, I organized the students to recite On Buddha Law and Essentials for Further Advances. Especially through reading Master’s "Melting In to the Fa", everyone understood that the most important thing was to assimilate Dafa.

Everyday after finishing school work, the students read Dafa--some read one chapter a day, some read a few paragraphs. While we were diligently studying the Fa and practicing Gong, another opportunity for me to improve Xinxing came. One evening, a female friend who was also a teacher, phoned me. She started with the following comment: "You must be careful! All teachers at the school know that you are organizing the students to practice Gong. In the U.S. you are not supposed to take the students to any extra-curricular activities on your own. Otherwise you might be fired." Hearing these I really became a little nervous. I could not afford not to work since we just bought a house. In addition, we had a big family to support and the expenses were quite high. So I chatted for just a little while and hung up the phone. I knew that cultivation practice should not be given up. But maybe I should simply ask the students to practice at their homes on their own for a while, then decide what to do later on. But my second thought said that none of their parents practiced cultivation, thus the environment was not to their advantage. They were only children and needed the guidance from adults. I felt frustrated. I spent 30 minutes everyday reading articles from Essentials for Further Advances before the class began. In the next morning, I opened up the book and first jumped into my eyes was the article "Buddha-nature Is Free From Omission": "From now on whatever you do, you should have consideration first for others so as to attain the righteous enlightenment of selflessness and altruism. So from now on whatever you do and whatever you say, you must have considerations for others, for future generations, and also for leaving the Dafa intact forever." As I was reading this, I was ashamed of myself. How could I be regarded as a true cultivator? I should not jeopardize the cultivation practice of so many people for my own benefit. I told myself: "No matter what happens, Master is with me. Even if they arrest me and put me in jail, I will continue with cultivation practice." My heart was at ease, and nothing happened at the end.

Some students stopped cultivation practice after a few months due to the influence of the environment. One of them stopped because his father called from China after having heard some remarks attaching Dafa in mainland China. When the students handed back the books and tapes to me, my heart became very heavy. I felt sorry and regretful for them at the same time. I thought to myself that everyone had his own predestinate relationship. But my second thought was saying that I should not think that way. Every aspect of a child needed guidance from an adult since they could not yet distinguish what was truly good from what was truly evil. Therefore, I used the opportunity of Christmas party to discuss the importance of cultivation with them. I also told them what Master Li had said: "All the way until you reach enlightenment, there will be tests to see if you are a firm believer in Dafa." I told them to think carefully about this: "If there is anyone who tells you not to practice cultivation, isn’t that a test to see if you are firmly believing in Dafa?" I also told the student whose father called from mainland China the reason why Falun Gong was misunderstood by some people in China. At the same time, together with the whole class, we studied Master Li’s essay "Buddha Nature vs. Demon Nature". It took me one day to have all the students back and continue their cultivation practice. Moreover, they became even more diligent in cultivation practice.

At present time everyone knows cultivation practice is the most important thing in life. Among themselves they compare one another in their studying the Fa and practicing cultivation. I believe that as long as they constantly advance themselves within Dafa, and continue the cultivation practices, they will for sure return to their beautiful paradises.

3. Improving my Xinxing through passing trials

Twenty-two days after obtaining the Fa in China, I returned to the U.S. On the way back, the opportunities for passing tests came along. At Beijing Capital Airport as I was checking in, the clerk asked me: "Which seat would you prefer?" I did not realize that it would be a test later on so I answered casually: "A window seat." The test came when I was on the plane. As the plane took off, I noticed that the seat next to me was empty. A girl of about fifteen or sixteen years old boarded the plane in Shanghai. Before she sat down, she requested me to give up my window to her. She said that she was going to do some reading. I hesitated a little and heard the passenger in the adjacent seat saying: "It wasn’t easy for her to get a window seat. You are so young, what do you want it for?" Then I thought that I was no longer an ordinary person, I ought to endure some hardships. So I gave up my seat to her. Soon after we took off, we were into night flight, most passengers reclined the back of their seats to get ready for sleep. I could not recline the back of my seat no matter how hard I tried. As I was anxiously pushing the back of my seat I turned around and saw the girl enjoying her deep sleep--she was not reading at all. With my back in the upright position, I watched her sleeping. I thought that as an extraordinary person, I was no longer an ordinary person. We cultivators do not seek after the things the other people seek after. With that thought in mind, I felt much better.

After I arrived in New York, to my surprise my husband was very nice to me. Let me give you a little background information. Before my trip to China, my husband and I had agreed to settle the divorce issue. From his enthusiasm on that day I felt the power of Dafa. Had I not obtained the Fa, the family would have fell apart long ago. The result would have inflicted miseries to the children. As Master Li said: "The debts owed must be paid off, so in the path of cultivation some dangerous things might occur…"

Those good days lasted for less than half a month before he turned into the opposite of his usual self. He became angry over nothing and demanded me to obey him on everything. Especially he asked me to do things that were not behaviors of a human. As a cultivator I could not obey. He began to beat and whip me on my face, left and right, left and right. Also he stuffed some liquid substance into my mouth, my nose and my eyes. The more I struggled, the happier he became. The more I suffered, the louder he laughed. Every time I was able to endure only for a brief moment, then I could not bear it any longer. So I argued with him then returned to my own room and burst into tears. Deep down I knew the huge amount of karma I had. I also felt that the pain of paying off the debts was hard to tolerate. For a period of time this type of karma-elimination occurred once a day, sometimes it lasted for two hours. I felt dizzy and light-headed. Whenever I opened Zhuan Falun and almost always came to page 118, which talked about taking one’s life. I thought I must have done a lot harm to him in the previous lives. I might have harmed him to death. Just like Master said: "When others mistreat you, there may be two scenarios: One is that you probably treated this person badly in your previous lives. You feel imbalance in your heart. How can I be treated like this? Then why did you treat the other person like that in the past? You say you didn’t know back then and in this lifetime you are not responsible for that lifetime. That won’t work."

Studying Dafa helped me improve my tolerance. I was able to bear things, yet I had some grievance. In a few months I began to develop hatred out of anger. I hated him, and I feared him. I dared not to look straight at him. Because of my disobedience he once dashed into my room and broke Master Li’s picture frame, with all of his force. The broken pieces of glass scattered all over the carpet. His hand seemed to have been cut by the glasses and he was bleeding. He threw the blood at my body, my face and at the luggage. Then he picked up Zhuan Falun and began to tear it. I used force to take the book back. I was not angry then and did not speak. I only felt emptiness in my heart. The whole thing happened at a sudden. After he left, I picked up the broken glasses piece by piece. When I saw the torn picture of Master, I cried. My heart was aching. I said: "Dear Master, your student is guilty! My own tribulations have brought trouble onto you for no reason." On the next day I made a copy of Master Li’s picture and had it enlarged. Within three days the Buddha altar was restored.

I thought that my heart would never change. For a period of time he helped me eliminating my karma, it was very tiring for him. Sometimes on my way home I was thinking: "He must be very tired, and he definitely will give me a break today, so that I can utilize this opportunity to study Fa and practice Gong after I get home." With these thoughts, my steps became much lighter. Right when I walked to the corner of my house, I suddenly stopped. My legs were giving in and I could not move one step further. My husband walked out of the yard was even smiling at me. I was very much afraid of seeing him smiling. He said: "Why are you so frightened seeing me." Immediately I got myself together thinking: "That’s right. What am I afraid of with Master around?" I gathered all my courage and entered the house. I heard him saying: "I was very tired in the past few days, so I asked for a day off." I thought: "Oh, no. You are well rested and my trouble is sure to come."

I was mentally prepared. I went to my room and opened Zhuan Falun. Right away I came to page 131. Master Li says: "Why do you run into these problems? They are all caused by your karma. We have eliminated countless and countless portions of it for you. Only a small portion is left. We divide it up and arrange it in different phases as obstacles for upgrading your Xinxing, as tribulations to upgrade your mind and to remove various attachments." Reading these words, I cried. I was saying in my heart: "My beloved Master, you have such boundless compassion for your student, and you have endured so much on behalf of your student. I can’t even tolerate this little. I don’t deserve to be your student."

Going through this tribulation, whenever I could not bear it any longer, I chanted quietly: "When it is difficult to endure it, you can endure it. When it is impossible to do it, it is possible to do it." So I endured it, and I was not angry. My heart was not moved. I was very glad that I succeeded. It was Dafa that had brought me a big step forward in the path of cultivation. A few days later, I decided to have a talk with him. With the attitude of searching my inner self, I said to him that I was sorry. Hearing that, he stared at me looking surprised, as if having difficulty understanding. He asked me why I talked this way. I did not answer him. Tears were rolling down on my face. This time I did not cry out of grief. It was tears of regret. I hated myself for committing too much karma in the past. I also felt sorry for him that he had to do so much to eliminate my karma. I told him that from then on I would treat him well. I will not move away even if he tried to throw me out. No matter what we were a married couple. Divorce would not do good to the children. At that moment I did not feel frightened looking at him. Also I was able to look straight at him. I truly felt pitiful for him.

After voicing these out I felt a huge rock that had been on my back for a long time dropped to the ground. For the first time in several months I took a deep breath. Since then I took much better care of him than before. When he did not want to come downstairs for meals, I would prepare the food and take the dishes upstairs. One time he took the food and said: "Actually I know that you do love me." I gave him a smile but my heart was so calm, as of it was empty. Strangely his torture of me, or let me put it in a correct way, this type of elimination of karma came to an end. Since then it never happened again. Of course he still lost his temper or threw things around every ten days or every half a month but I was no longer the same person as I had been in the past. His every move or behavior no longer affected me. My heart was filled with Dafa, I must use the divine side to correctly apply the Fa.

After I obtained the Fa, my parents-in-law moved in with us. It had provided me with many opportunities to improve my Xinxing in more than a year. I always regarded myself as a cultivator. Sometimes, however, I could not let go my attachments. Especially at one time my husband told me that my mother-in-law wanted to bring in a few children that she looked after to the house since she did not have any freedom by baby-sitting outside of the house. I could not stand the idea, so I did not give the permission, thinking: "This house will be turned into a day-care center."

I was agitated and hoped that they would leave soon. In those few days karma began to be active again. One day in the subway I heard a voice saying: "Why haven’t they left yet?" I felt very agitated and did not want to speak to anyone when I got home. As a result I had a dream that night. I dreamt of my mother’s face. I only heard her saying: "You do not deserve to be my daughter. Think about how many bad things you have done." I woke up suddenly, sweating and feeling scared. I got off bed right away and kneeled in front of Master’s picture saying: "Mother in Paradise, please do not abandon your child. I know I have done plenty of bad things in many life times in the past, I will definitely pay them off. No matter how miserable and difficult it is I will pay them off." Right after I finished saying that, I felt that all of a sudden my chest cleared up. I knew that it was Master who had eliminated my karma.

On the next day, as I expected the sight of them no longer bothered me. I sincerely told my mother-in-law to baby-sit in the house if it was not so free outside, and not to worry about the number of children. Strangely, within a couple of days she told me that it was better outside. It saved her from quarreling with my father-in-law at home. Only then I came to realize that Master used this incident to get rid of another attachment of mine.

One day my parents-in-law wanted to have a talk with me. I thought that I must have done something poorly, so I agreed. I sat in front of them. Wiping away tears my mother-in-law told me: "Dongmei, you treat us so well!" My father-in-law followed: "I have sum up a few points about you: You are filial to the elderly, kind to the young, and patient to your husband." Having heard that I thought: "If I were not a cultivator, I could absolutely not have done all of these in the past a year and a half. Then I would have committed new karma before paying off the old ones. It was Dafa that saved me. He saved me from total destruction." So I told them: "Our Master said: We cultivators must treat everyone well." Together they said: "This Gong is really good."

Having cultivated for over one year my Xinxing has gradually improved through trials of small and big tribulations. I often think: "Dear Master, your disciple cannot describe your grand benevolence in human languages. You have given your disciple so much in this short period of one year and eight months, whereas what I have done so little. I still remember that you took off the sources of my deadly disease in another dimension only one month after I had started cultivation practice. You let your disciple hear the beautiful music from another dimension two months after I started practicing. When I wandered during encountering tribulations, you let me see my past three lifetimes. When I could not let go my attachments, you let me dream of myself carrying baskets of fecal matters either on my shoulders or on my arms. When I could not be free from the interference by the demon of somnolence, you appeared in front of me as if you were sleeping. When I strove vigorously in my cultivation, you gave me a smile. In the path of cultivation practice for over one year, there were plenty of tears, however, I am much more clear-headed and determined. Why? It is all because that now I have almighty Dafa in my mind. The power of Dafa can change everything. It’s absolutely true. I understand that since I came here for the sake of obtaining the Fa, then I must return with completing cultivation. I am determined to fight it out with the karma and all the thoughts formed since birth. I will use Dafa to peel layers after layers of shells covering my true human nature so that I will emerge as a new person, my true self, which assimilates the cosmic characteristics, and coexists with the cosmos."